Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
