So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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