**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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