Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
