i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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