I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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