awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
