One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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