just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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