so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
