i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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