Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
