Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
