Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
