Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
