...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
