hotel room ftw
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
