Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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