i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
