Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
