Im at strip club and am horny
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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