She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
