the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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