You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
