I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
