Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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