is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
