32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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