i already hear my dad disowning me
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
