yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
