it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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