I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
