i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
