It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
