Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There r osticjed everywhere
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
