Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
