An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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