Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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