You work out of a Hotel?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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