Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
