This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Fuck appropriateness.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
