I'm sorry my penis didn't work
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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