OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
a search helicopter?!
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
