You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
