I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
