Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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