I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
