hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
