I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
