tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
