another moral hangover. fuck.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
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