You really coming over, don't trick.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
