I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
